Angela Chen: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex

"You're not broken if you're different."

On paper, it sounds simple: People who are asexual don't experience sexual attraction.

But as Angela Chen reveals in her book, Ace, asexuality encompasses a broad spectrum of experiences, each filled with nuances and complexities that contribute to longheld misunderstandings around the asexual community.

Asexuals (also known as "ace" or "aces") can feel repulsed or indifferent to sex; aces can also enjoy sex. There are a myriad of reasons why people have sex, apart from sexual attraction.

Angela was 14 when she read the definition for asexual and like many, equated it to hating sex, knowing right away that that didn't describe her. It wasn't until her 20s that she discovered how wrong she was, using her skills as a science reporter to dive into the countless reasons why people have sex, apart from sexual attraction.

There are "emotional reasons," Angela says, or, "You might be bored. Or you really love someone. Or you want to feel attractive and desired and sexy. That can hide, for many people, their own asexuality."

I got to speak to Angela for the podcast about the many myths that still exist around asexuality, her own journey of self-acceptance, and the goal of the asexual movement: reminding people that “you’re not broken if you’re different.”

Angela’s fantastic book is called Ace: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex and is available now. It’s a crucial work that expanded how I think about sex and what it means to be queer.

Thanks for listening.

And if there’s anyone you’re dying to hear from on the podcast, as always, I’d love to know. You can reply to this email or come find me on Twitter.

xo
Jeffrey